Today has been a particularly hard day for me. It is a day that reminds me of one of the greatest heartbreaks of my entire life. It was a tragedy, one that still fills me with unfathomable rage to this day, years after its occurrence. You see, today sees the release of a spin-off television show for The Name of the Thrones. This spin-off is called The Castle of Fire-Breathing Beasts, which I personally think is a pretty terrible name. Anyway, Fire-Breathing Beasts has all these buried feelings of rage coming up again, as I am forced to think about The Name of the Thrones and how it deteriorated over the years. Consider me seriously triggered.
Everybody is asking if I’m going to watch Beasts today, and I simply have to hold my tongue so that I don’t go into a massive rant about how the previous show ended. One of my best friends even said she was going to get the best tattooist in the Brisbane area to give her a tattoo of one of the characters, and I almost died inside. What if Beasts finishes just as awfully as Thrones did? That would be really embarrassing. Could you imagine having a tattoo of Danielle Targon these days, years after Thrones finished in a complete mess? I’d definitely be getting a cover-up tattoo if it were me in that situation.
I just can’t even begin to describe how bad that show was in the end. Some people say it was good until season eight, but that was just the height of the show’s stupidity. The reality is that it was never the same from season five onwards. It was then, when one of the characters went on a ridiculous quest to the sand lands, that I swore I would never get a tattoo based on The Name of the Thrones. Sure, the later seasons had their highlights, but when birds can teleport to deliver messages all of a sudden, all the cool stuff kind of becomes tainted.
I just… I just can’t even. Not today.