The Renovator

They just keep making sequels to things that don’t need them, and people keep going…wait, why? There was the original Germinator, the classic sequel (alright, they’re not all bad) Exterminator (that was the one about when the robot quit his job and had to find purpose in his life), Germinator (it was a weird farming … [Read more…]

Get An Expert

My cell phone is running hot because all my friends have it in their heads that I’m some sort of car repairs expert. That was ONE TIME. My friend was having some trouble with her engine, and it was real basic stuff, so I just reached down in there and twisted a few things in … [Read more…]

Hats, Shade, Elephants

Why don’t animals wear hats more often? This was the main question keeping me up last night. Usually there are a few, but this one in particular really stuck in my brain as being of particular significance. It’s not like they can all rely on their fur; some animals don’t even have that. There are … [Read more…]

Filming In Progress

When my sister mentioned in passing that she was having a film crew over, I thought her house had been discovered by location scouts or something. Would they be working on a cop show? An indie flick? Perhaps an ad for stain remover? I wanted to know, so I casually popped over to check out … [Read more…]

If It Ain’t Broke

My new assistant, Stanley, is getting on my nerves. He’s determined to push this agenda that he seems to have picked up at uni, which essentially boils down to our office not being good enough to elicit peak performance from our team. I’ve tried telling him that it’s been working fine for a good 15 … [Read more…]

Food Safety

I take workplace safety very seriously, at all times. That includes whenever I watch a film…and that’s terrible. I had to walk out of ‘Charlize and the Mock Olfactory’ because the workplace standards for the staff were just absolutely unacceptable. There was one scene where they were operating a commercial deep fryer that was so … [Read more…]

Project: Pizzaz

My friend Candice has forever got some epic project underway. Well, her projects always seem like a massive deal to me, but I get the feeling they’re not much to her. We’re talking things like launching an online store that sells bodybuilding supplements, travelling to Switzerland to speak at a global conference, having a nose … [Read more…]

Irrigation Would be Really Nice

Sure has been a while since my brothers forced me into the pipe system, so I should be grateful they gave me a break this long. Pa installed this thing under the farm himself, so naturally, there are blockages all the time and sometimes it gets mixed with the waste from the house. I’m the … [Read more…]

Well Maintained Cars Are Key

The younger cousins have raised the valid issue that, when confronting an enemies, there are perhaps better ways to escape into the night than flying across the rooftops. That sort of thing worked really well when we were back in our home country, when all the rooftops were high and angled, perfect for leaping across … [Read more…]

Shooting Star, Landscaped Garden, Pretty Please?

Alright, so I’m down a few hundred bucks. But I firmly maintain that was a faulty wishing well and I can prove it. You see, it was a crescent half-moon, and everyone knows that’s the most auspicious time for NOT getting your wishes granted if the particular wishing well you’re using has any imperfections. In … [Read more…]