If I had one wish, and I couldn’t wish for more wishes, and I couldn’t just ask to be a genie, and I couldn’t ask for wishes to be given to all my friends, and I couldn’t wish for infinite birthday cakes, four-leaf clovers, coins to throw in a wishing well or sightings of the first star of the night (all of which would give me infinite wish potential), then I would wish for life to have a soundtrack.
I just experience too many moments in my life that aren’t as a dramatic as they should be, and a beautiful score would just help to let people know when they should be playing along. Okay, so…it’s the University Med Ball tonight. I’ve been studying for five years so I just want this night to be a culmination of ALL that hard work, right? So I went all the way to Ballarat for laser hair removal, had some dermal fillers, got my hair done (which took two hours- I need haircut after this). I looked for six days to find the perfect dress. Finally ready, I walked out of my room into our living room, where my three housemates were watching TV.
I took slow steps, to show this was a momentous occasion. I smiled, placed one hand on the doorframe in an elegant fashion…and no one looked at me. I got laser hair removal for nothing!? Eventually Rhonda looked up and asked if I was going somewhere nice.
Somewhere nice. SOMEWHERE NICE.
No ‘squee, you look amazing!’. No ‘EEK, where did you get your get your makeup done, it’s to DIE for!’. Not even any tears. Took all the wind out of my sails.
Imagine if I’d walked in, the music swelling as I entered, the camera panning upwards to my face. Dramatic piano, followed by the entry of the strings as every sees my face. Perfection.
And all those cosmetic tattooing jobs might’ve gone faster as well, because it would’ve been done via upbeat musical montage. I just want to live inside the TV, basically.