My cousin, Gary, is such a dunce. I mean, not really – he’s been through medical school – but he can be a real airhead sometimes. I’ve just heard the news that he accidentally burned down a large chunk of his kitchen last week. According to my mother, he was making some popcorn on the stove and got distracted by a Jim Carey movie. In his defence, his stove-top was known to be a bit temperamental, although in my opinion that’s all the more reason to keep a close eye on it.
Anyway, he’s only just gotten around to looking into installing a new kitchen. Melbourne has been in the grips of a hay fever epidemic, apparently, which has caused him to be so busy at work as to put off doing anything about his burnt-out kitchen. Mum says she went around to have a look and noticed that the popcorn pan was still on the stove, amidst the rubble.
Gary hardly ever uses his kitchen, so I think he should consider having it newly designed in a way that’s better suited to him. It really is (well… was) quite the luxury kitchen, and I’ve always secretly thought it was wasted on Gary. He doesn’t need six gas cooktops, or an enormous floating island with pan racks overhead. He could totally downsize it and have more room for other activities in the adjoining open plan living room, which he makes great use of with a massive home theatre system and a pool table.
On the other hand, I suppose having a fully equipped kitchen might be useful when it comes to selling the house. There must be a custom kitchen designer in Melbourne who can balance that against Gary’s natural state of needing things to be kept relatively simple – not to mention fire-retardant.