Expanding the University Right Into the Water

I know our university is on the waterfront, but I never really considered boat parking to be something we’d need. How many students could possibly be arriving via yacht and/or sailboat of some sort? One, perhaps two maximum? Usually it’s zero, but this year we’ve suddenly had a petition signed by sixteen students who’ve all jumped on the bandwagon and need a dedicated place out the front to park. It’s not impossible– I mean, we do own the land- but it’s all very sudden.

It started with that one young man, I’m sure of it. There was a slight buzz over him showing up to class in a small yacht of some variety, and now it seems he’s converted even more people to the cause. Is that just how young people are now? They can’t just have a car; it needs to be a boat as well?

Dear Dean…well, they could’ve included my name. We represent a small group of students…yes, yes, skip down a bit…taking pride in Melbourne’s quality outboard motor services, many of which operate in this very area

Alright, they’ve lost me there. I think the idea is that they want to keep encouraging people to jump on-board this trend. I suppose they must have connections with outboard motor repairs and the like. Yes, makes sense…this has to have come from somewhere. It’s true, the docks are just around the corner, but we as a university have never had much to do with them.

…opportunities for academic and practical excellence in TAFE services, as well as taking advantage of placement opportunities in the surrounding area…

Oh, so they don’t just want parking. They actually want the university to offer courses on boat maintenance. It’s a bit of a jump, but I suppose securing professionals for special classes might not be too hard, if there happens to be sufficient demand. It’s all very strange to me, however. One day everyone just shows up in a motorboat, and the next thing you know, this institution is churning out as many quality Melbourne outboard motor repair professionals as it does doctors and scientists. Dramatic changes like that have to be put to the board, but…for now, I could give them a place to park. Or…anchor, whatever it is.

-D. Thomas

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